Use these DBT Flashcards to help review your DBT skills!
DEAR MAN
D- describe the situation non-judgmentally
E- express how you’re feeling
A- ask for what you want
R- use positive reinforcement
M- stay mindful
A- appear confident
N- negotiate
GIVE
G- be gentle
I- act interested
V- validate
E- use an easy manner
FAST
F- be fair
A- no apologies
S- stick to your values
T- be truthful
Modulating Intensity
How to determine how intensely to ask for something or say no
Assess your relationship- is it stable? Is there an uneven power dynamic?
Assess your request- is it clear? Do you know all the facts?
Assess your emotions- will saying no or asking make you feel bad? What does Wise Mind say?
Factors Reducing Interpersonal Effectiveness
Lack of skill- it’s ok if you don’t have these skills yet!
Worry thoughts- initiate positive self talk
Emotions- use mindfulness to get distance
Indecision- what does your Wise Mind say?
Environment- some things you just can’t control
Interpersonal Rights
You have the right to…
1. Say what you feel
2. Express your opinion even if you disagree with someone
3. Say no to a request and not feel guilty
4. Set boundaries with others
5. Take the time to think about a request someone asked you for
6. Take the time to make a decision
7. Be treated with respect
Interpersonal Myths
Interpersonal myths are things that we believe but aren’t rooted in fact
To challenge them:
Argue against them logically OR
Experiment in the world to see if they’re true
Interpersonal Cheerleading Statements
True statements meant to increase your interpersonal effectiveness
Three types:
1. Statements that provide the courage to act effectively
2. Statements that help you prepare for the situation
3. Statements that counteract myths
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